One of the three definitions on for ‘guilt’ is, “feeling bad because you have done something bad or wrong or because you believe you have done something bad or wrong.”

There have been a lot of standards set when it comes to dating and relationships, and it’s beginning to feel like if you don’t adhere to those “standards,” you’re guilty of doing something wrong.

I’m here to tell you the truth – you’re not!


This is the time to figure yourself out, make mistakes, take charge of your life – and a big part of that involves who you become involved with. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, the dating game isn’t easy, it’s never been easy, and it’s never going to be easy, (Tried and true, the things worth having in life aren’t). but if you want to be in a relationship, you’re going to have to play the game. You’re also going to have to live with the choices you make, so make the best decisions for you (the other person will get over it) and NEVER feel guilty for making those decisions.

Long-term Love

Despite the fact that a lot of people do it, there isn’t a rule stating that you have to date around in your twenties. If you’ve been with someone since your teens/early twenties, don’t let the comments of, “Have you ever thought about who else is out there?” and “You’re too young to settle” impede on your happiness. Not everyone is destined to date 3, 5, 8, 10 or even 15 guys before finding “The One.” Your happiness is what matters, so don’t let anyone make you question or feel guilty about your long-term relationship.

Moving On

When things just aren’t working out with your partner, and you’ve tried to fix it to no avail, it’s time to move on. They might beg you to stay, friends and family may encourage you to give it more time, but you know you the best. You’re both going to be heartbroken, but time will stitch up the wounds for both of you, as will a new relationship. The biggest thing to remember is that if they’re still miserable months after the breakup, that’s not your fault/problem, they need to figure out how to move on.

Your Number

I can’t speak for everyone, but at least within my circle of friends, we’ve talked about past partners {be them long or short-term} and ultimately, our numbers. Look, here’s a truth bomb for you – it’s no one’s damn business! If you want to share, share, if not, that’s fine. But, if you’re sharing with friends and any one of you has a significantly higher or lower number than the rest of the group, who cares? (see two sentences above) Ladies, it’s your life, explore your sensuality however, how often and with whomever you want! (Be safe!!!)

Real Talk

This can go hand-in-hand with moving on, but I’m talking more about the we just started seeing each other, only been on a handful of dates experience. Trust your gut, and if you’re not feeling it, tell that person. Where real talk comes in is when they just don’t seem to get it. You tried being nice, letting them down easy, but the hint has seemed to fly over their head completely, even after you’ve stopped responding to texts. Now, it’s time to be the person you were hoping you wouldn’t have to be, and drop some truth on them. Be direct. Be precise. Be honest. Can it be harsh? Absolutely. Should you feel bad afterward? Absolutely not! If you approach the situation correctly, you shouldn’t hear from them again. Never feel like you did anything wrong by speaking your mind.

Life Outside of the Relationship

Maintaining your identity is extremely important, and both of you need to do it. Staying in and doing everything with him by your side is going to isolate you, and before you know it, you haven’t had a girl’s night in three months! Group dates are nice, but the two of you are still together. So, go out with your girlfriends, attend that office happy hour, and run errands alone. If he understands and does the same with his friends and coworkers, crisis averted. But, if you’re out and he keeps you glued to your phone by continuously texting or calling you, wanting to know when you’ll be home, there’s an issue, and one that if not dealt with can lead to major problems.

It’s perfectly fine to declare, “Yes, I’m guilty as charged, but I don’t give a damn!” And you know why? Because you’re taking charge of your life, you’re living it, and if that means you’re not allowing yourself to be molded into some societal norm, or allowing others to make you feel uncomfortable, then you should be extremely proud. You are taking strides others are afraid to, and you have the ability to help others see it for themselves as well.

What would you add to this list? We’d love to hear it!

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