There’s a lot of advice out there about how us 20-somethings can make it through the dating game. It comes from relationship experts, psychologists, those who’ve already been there, and those going through it now. Rachel and I decided that this post would be filled with tips from 20-somethings for 20-somethings.
On A Date
@rachmariepr – Be present. Turn off your phone – or at least put it to silent. If you must check it, do it while in the bathroom.. I know it is hard for us PR girls to not be connected at all times but, I promise, you’ll live AND (hopefully) have a better time than if you were thinking about your phone.
@AlyssaNRomeo – Be yourself. Don’t get caught up trying to be someone you’re not, and let your true self shine through; it’ll be enough.
@EmCatPR – Be decisive. Nobody likes the awkward back and forth of “I don’t know, what do you want to do?” The best scenario would be choosing a place, time or activity together, but that doesn’t always happen. If he gives you options, be prepared to choose one or even suggest your own favorite place or activity. You will spend more time getting to know them and less time stressing about the little things!
Lindsey – Be punctual. Being on time shows you value and respect each other’s time. Don’t watch TV during sex. (Haha, we agree Lindsey!)
@PRGirlPaige – “Never love anyone who treats you like you’re ordinary.” It’s so important to be with someone who continually reminds you to go out and be your best – but you have to do the same in return. Also, the older I get the more I realize how essential it is to be with someone who is motivated with their own dreams. You don’t always have to have everything in common, either. My boyfriend of 4 years and I have very little in common besides adventuring and similar humor, but it makes everything more fun because we’re so different.
@AlyssaNRomeo – Don’t rush into things, and don’t be afraid to move on. We need to realize that no matter how much we want something to work out, if you’re looking for something serious and he’s not, it’s okay to just walk away.
@RachastaPR – Be willing to date outside “your type”! Before I met my boyfriend, I was convinced I had one type and that was the only type I would consider in terms of dating. Once I met my now boyfriend, I realized that your type does not matter and can actually really limit you in terms of finding the right one. I had an imaginary checklist and surprisingly, he does not fit many of those criteria. What I have found though, is that we fit perfectly together because we balance each other out. I wouldn’t have it any other way!
Lindsey – Be open and honest, hiding the truth is the same thing as lying. He will appreciate your honesty and in return, he will give it back.
Celeste – Don’t settle!!! Be confident in yourself to know what you are worth! Always trust your gut… It knows best what you deserve!!
Valerie – Be upfront about what you want and how you feel. Never feel like you have to wait on him to make decisions on when to take the next step make it an equal decision. And never expect him to read your mind at anytime!!!! Know your WORTH and make sure you give yourself time from relationship to relationship to get the past out of your system. I have been guilty of not doing that and it never works out! Don’t ever expect anything from anyone because that’s the quickest way to get let down.
A friend of mine is struggling with the following right now, so here’s what she had to say – “Stop trying to keep up with what everyone else is doing or what society deems as “normal.” Get married, don’t get married. Have a baby, don’t have a baby. It’s YOUR life, do things at your own speed and what you want to do. Basically, don’t obsess with time lines or conventional ideals.”
Another echoed the sentiments of @RachastaPR and @PRGirlPaige – “Be open to prospective datees. Don’t think your type is your type… Be open!” To which the above friend agreed, because her “husband was never what she thought was her type but turned out to be the best thing she’s ever had!
And one of the greatest things to remember is, “don’t feel like you have to have everything together to be someone’s perfect fit. You may not be where you want to be at this point in your life – and they may not be either! … The person you’re supposed to be with will accept where you are right now and you will accept them and you’ll grow together – or you won’t. And that’s ok. Your 20’s are a time to be selfish and be all about you, so if you aren’t meshing with someone, even after you’ve put time in, don’t feel obligated to stay in fear of not finding someone else or that you’re too old to start new.”
This is a crazy, confusing time, so take yours, try not to over-analyze, and above all, have fun! If there’s a piece of advice that’s really helped you, add it to the comments below.