We can’t believe it’s already here, the final TDC post of 2014. It has been a great first year of sharing stories, and offering advice that hopefully had a positive impact on your dating life.
This final 2014 article will be a reflection of our year, and based on what each of us has experienced, some New Year’s resolutions to make 2015 a better dating year than 2014.
New Year’s Resolutions.
We’re not strangers to them. Rachel and I don’t know how many “get a jumpstart on your resolution” gym mailings we’ve received so far, but we know more are on the way – they always are. However, given the fact that this is TDC, let’s focus on our dating resolutions.
- The guy who went ghost on me, which really messed with my head.
- The stage 5 clinger – after telling him multiple times over the past few months, “We don’t click and that’s okay!” he finally got it… THIS WEEK.
- The married guy – met him at a bar and made the mistake of going home with him. After doing a little social media research (creeping) found out that he is, yep you guess it, MARRIED.
- The guy who picked the date, place, and time, then stood me up.
- The guy with more free time than me – Would love to put more time into him but can’t seem to find a way our schedules match up.
- The one who talked a big game, but when it came to making plans, never answered a single text about it.
- The too-young guy – Despite being funny and super cute, the age difference was just a little too much for me. I found myself advising him on life things the way I would a younger sibling. He was not where I would want a man, that I’m dating, to be in life.
- Let’s not forget the guy I’d been crushing on for months, and when I finally got up the courage to ask him out, he said yes! Then things went no further, as he too never responded to or acknowledged that I’d asked him out after that.
- The long distance relationship – He was the first to truly steal my then broken heart. He was so much fun (in person and not) and seemed so wonderful. Then he faded out without warning (a ghost for each of us).
- And finally, there was the guy who really liked me (Alyssa), but it was at that point that I decided it was time to focus more on my career, and me seriously pursuing opportunities with upward mobility. Given that I knew he wasn’t a fan of long distance relationships, I ended up feeling nothing more than friendship for him, which lasted right up until I moved, then that too fizzled out, as they usually do when unrequited feelings are involved.
Not the ideal year of dating we’d been hoping for, but, we ended up learning so much about ourselves, that while we won’t say it’s okay (because it’s not), learning what we did made it all the more bearable. So, as the new year approaches, here’s what we’ll be taking with us into it – a greater sense of self-worth, a better understanding of the type of guy we’re looking for, a keen desire to never settle, and despite the less than great experiences, the lessons learned.
Let it also be known that I’m ending this year having had three dates with a genuinely nice guy who’s attentive, interested, and interesting 🙂 and Rachel has been progressing with an awesome guy as well, who seems to busy and motivated like she is, providing an integral part of her support system, which is extremely important in any relationship.
So, what does this mean for our dating related resolutions? We resolve to:
- Never lose hope.
- Be even more clear with ourselves about what we’re looking for, where a guy ‘should’ be in his life, and what we want out of any kind of relationship with him.
- Never lower our standards.
- Be more responsible about who we meet and decide to move forward with.
- Always take care of ourselves first.
- Take the good and the bad in stride, remembering that tomorrow’s a new day.
- Keep an open mind.
- Make the time. They say: if it’s important, you will find the time, right? But, if you finding you aren’t making the time – let him down gently so he can move on with his life.
- Stay open and honest with him and ourselves, but don’t halt something good, solely because we’re scared.